The contemporary parents presented in Chapter 6 did not measure the success of their child’s time on Earth by the child’s life span. Babies enter the world with a purpose even if they do not stay too long.
Judy’s experience reported here explains why women can feel a sudden impulse to have a child even though they feel finished with childbearing.
She and her husband were in their late thirties and had no plans for more children. Judy, a full-time mother, kept busy with four-year-old Timothy and one-year-old Germaine. However, as if following a unseen drummer, Judy received an “urgent phone call from Mother Nature.”
The thought came like a knock on the door: “You are destined to have another child and get pregnant right away.” Two souls put the thought in my head, “We want in. We want to be born.” It was a total contrast to a conscious desire for a child. The twins chose me and somehow knew I was fertile. I felt bewildered and cried because of the awesomeness of the experience.
My husband Ken honored my intuition because he feels I have “a good connection with cosmic intelligence” and frequently sense what is right or wrong. He was surprised because I had never expressed a desire for more children, but he wanted to have a larger family, so he said, “Why not?”
The intentions of the souls seemed authentic to me. We succumbed because the request felt sincere and convincing. We just couldn’t say “No.” That night when we made love, Ken ejaculated, but he was hardly in me. We thought we needed to try again … eight hours later I woke up with morning sickness.
I looked forward to two more children. It seemed as if I had some unfinished business in terms of motherhood. Ken felt equally pleased to know that two “special people” were coming into the world. This pregnancy, on the other hand, challenged me, unlike the earlier pregnancies.
My heart is normally open to children, but my spirit was far from elevated. I missed the amplification of energy which I felt in my other two pregnancies. They had blessed me with another jet engine and heightened awareness. Instead, the twins created irritability, insomnia, and nausea. I felt dragged down all day and barely held things together. The twin’s vibrations didn’t match mine. It seemed like my body was carrying another woman’s child.
I have been sensitive to a mismatch of vibrations for years. I feel rough and uncomfortable if I am with someone who has a lower vibration. It’s nothing personal. It’s a question of vibration. If it does not match, it does not match. It’s beyond my attention. I have learned that I can be close in heart to someone without being physically proximate to them.
Six weeks into the pregnancy, the whole thing began to fall apart.
Everyone was exhausted [including the two souls who were experiencing a difficulty in harmonizing their vibrations and energy with the mother].
I sensed the impending loss and became even more irritable because I knew that I could not hold them. It was a misfit experience.
Meanwhile, Ken encountered his own share of difficulties career-wise. He and I rarely quarreled, but we began to argue, even though we did not want to. Right after that, I started bleeding.
The souls chose to leave. I lay on the bed and witnessed an extraordinary physical sensation gently rippling up from my uterus to my heart. The souls left one at a time like a gentle burp and then out of my heart. I felt powerless to stop it or speed it up. I just let it take its course. The miscarriage messed me up for a while. It took two months of bleeding and cramping to clean out my womb.
I felt a sense of loss and sadness in their departure. Yet, the miscarriage did not shock me. I had lost the twins on the subtle level before I lost them on the physical. I had known that the pregnancy was not going to make it for a long time. Still, a mother has lost a child. I did not feel any remorse from their side though.
The twin souls got what they needed. They were grateful that they could hang in there that long. I have not heard from them since.
Ken similarly regarded the loss as part of a greater plan, rather than an accident. He felt bad. He wished the twins had been born. He initially felt responsible because we had an argument. But I assured him that our quarrel merely triggered the whole thing to finally let go. I felt that I had done my duty by bringing them into the world, if only for a short time. Apparently the twins needed a faint incarnation to fulfill their desire. So everyone benefited in that way.
Right after that, I was completely free of any desires to have more children. That was my last pregnancy.
Just as some people trade in their cars every eight years whereas others buy a new car every year, so too, some souls lease their vehicles for ninety years while others lease them a few months. The transitoriness of human life depends on our cosmic contract.